Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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