You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
