just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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