it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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