How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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