what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
