I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
