im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
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