At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
