I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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