I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize