I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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