Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
