Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
