dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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