he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
