if you like me you must not know who I am
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
