I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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