My nipple is on Facebook.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
