During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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