i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
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Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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