What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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