2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
