i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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