So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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