before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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