if i can run in heels then i can drive
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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