Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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