Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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