I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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