Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
