we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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