I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize