Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
