I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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