After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
