Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
