I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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