found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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