You can't special order awesome
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
