I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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