I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
