are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
smell my finger.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
