u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
