I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
