I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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