if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
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This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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