....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
