I want to make a zoo with you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
