i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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