I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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