My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
