i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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