i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize