We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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