Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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