so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
