first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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