pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
