I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
