he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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