i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
