I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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