It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
