I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
